Have we got a spokesman for you!

Over on Asparagirl, I tussled a bit with some fellow who happened to share the name of one of my college buddies; with my superior logical intuition and deductive reasoning, I quickly matched up the coincidental recent e-mailing of said friend to the fact that my band page, which he might have sought out having heard from me, is gone. The uBlog is all that responds to "figureconcord.com".

Of course, my spider sense doesn't always tingle because it's correct.

I asked Jon if I might be debating him. He thought not. Out of curiosity, he asked about the topic. Iraq, I said. I'm for, the guy with your name is against. His answer:

I wouldn't touch that one if it had nipples.

Good man, I replied. I miss that kid.

From Danny O'Brien's Blog O'DOB, I tracked a link to the most enjoyable satire I've read in a long time. It's like the Onion, only not so reflexively liberal in a serious time that jokes aren't funny anymore.

Spoiler: Saddam gets kneecapped.

A little leftist insult, galvanized into conservative humor, can go a long way.

More visual goods from Asparagirl translates into more Photoshop lampoons. Only one for now, but it's nicely multilayered:

UPDATE: This is news to no one lucid - least of all me - but I can't help finding myself walloped by its implicative weight: people in New York City, Los Angeles, London, Paris and elsewhere are protesting their governments in the hopes of maintaining the reality in Iraq and the Middle East at large where people cannot protest their governments.

Today, Asparagirl snapped photographs of New York City's grand amalgam of antiwar protests. Socialists, self-described "queers," grannies, children and well-to-doers: all marched proudly and declared their solidarity with benevolent, wrongfully accused mover-and-shaker Saddam Hussein. With Baghdad beset by bombs, foodstuffs, interim government participants and other miscellaneous democratization payloads, these dedicated socialists, self-described "queers," grannies, children and well-to-doers stamped their foot down for justice; down on mainstreet concrete. Of all the luck, Asparagirl caught just about every anti-what-have-you-as-long-as-it's-either-Bush-or-America placard flush to the camera.

You know what that means. Photoshop time!

^ Whaddya, blind?

^ Only a matter of time before the United States sets off some Dolomite!

^ Same as it ever was.

Moral of the story: just think; there'll be protests like these every single offensive!

I saw Episodes Five through Seven of Band of Brothers last night, so my mind has been filled with thoughts of veterans for the entire day.

This ought to cheer anybody up.

Half jest, half truth. I'm sure both patriots and anti-American leftists will find this amusing. The film plate is priceless.

And, lest you think me flippant, just scroll down and read the litany of gravely serious posts on our impending offensive in which I've been dwelling for the past few days. In any case - God Bless 'Er!

Pooty-Poot of our friendly neighborhood Russian Federation is apparently the center of a potentially litigation-rich controversy. The crime? Dobby, a charming little creature in the second and most recent Harry Potter film, is the spitting image of Mr. Putin:

But since when is a striking countenance between figurehead and fiction surprising? Take French President Minister Jacques Chirac, for example:

Okay, okay - lucky angle. But the implication is amusing. "Go away, boy, ya bahthah me."

And equally newsworthy German Prime Minister Gerhard Schroeder, not to be forgotten for such a popularly legendary face:

Dead on. Mos Eisley Cantina tunes, anyone?

Amazing. Coincidence? Perhaps. Irony? Loads. More to come? You bet.

One might be amazed how light the hearts of those undertaking the most serious tasks are; to wit, I forwarded the following inspirational poster, author unknown, to some friends - including a fellow from college who is in the Army and very likely either in the Middle East or on his way.

I recently sent him a letter of appreciation and blessing in his deployment that almost took me aback, it was so heartfelt. He is - at least on the surface - not quite like that, for he immediately responded to the poster from above.

"It's funny 'cause it's true.

You'll be happy to know that your poster now adorns the ammo door of an M1 Abrams tank deployed to Kosovo. The First Sergeant also put a copy behind his desk and will refer people to it whenever they come to him to complain about anything. I serve in a very enlightened Army."

It serves a man well to recognize the limits of his control upon a given affair; it serves him more to confront this mortality with humble laughter.