1. Gazing intently at a driver who has pulled her car well over the crosswalk's threshold will, if the woman is unaccustomed to city etiquette, compel her to throw the transmission into reverse and resile from the province of pedestrians.
2. Cleveland parking meters are exo-dimensional, partially residing where time runs at about one minute to every four of ours (which may explain one cause of the city's money troubles). Four to one? Were that the case here, France would have two times as many cathedrals, Leonardo da Vinci would have left us the Battle of Anghiari instead of three-fifths thereof, and no one would either chuckle or shake his head at the mention of the "Big Dig."
3. Dear Gary So-and-So: A man standing outside the Federal Building mistook me for you, it seems. He called over a greeting but I did not turn to respond; the general sentiment, if misdirected, was appreciated but I feared that had I returned in kind the error would have been compounded, even constituting a breach of an obscure law against Conspiracy to Defraud the Office Colleagues of Gary So-and-So. If your friend is tart later this morning, now you know why. He does, however, wish you a Happy New Year.