After hearing the news I immediately dialed up my buddy OX, who is for the moment scriptwriting in Boston but a permanent resident of Los Angeles. “So, you gonna vote for him?” were the first words out of my mouth.
OX has always voted in general or otherwise important elections, so Arnold’s run for office will surely bring him to register if he already hasn’t. What makes this candidacy so unique is that people who stay out of voting – being jaded, cynical or (you’d be surprised how often I hear about this) wary of jury duty – are drawn to casting a ballot for this race. OX knows at least one friend who will, and we can be sure there's a few million more. Why not? The next closest crossing of cinema legend with civic leadership would be Jeremy Bulloch dusting off his costume and running for office as Boba Fett.
I’m of two minds about this. Most of me understands the circumstance for what it is: Arnold is by no means a meathead, but on the other hand hasn’t exactly shown the prowess one would associate with executive office for one of the largest states in the most powerful country on Earth. He’s a social liberal, a sort of anti-ideology I characterize as socialite libertarian relativism; if no one gets hurt, Arnold doesn’t mind. While his ambivalence may dismay social conservatives and he has on occasions spoken out against them, his neutrality in office would probably turn out to be consistent, insofar as he wouldn’t impugn a phantom “religious right.” Arnold is equally populist on the fiscal front; of the “compassionate conservative” pedigree. It is, again, the safest route: Bush’s partial embrace of big-government expansion has angered some on the right while failing to chip away at hardline Democrats’ hearts, indeed, but managed to effectively nullify accusations of heartlessness and stinginess in the 2002 elections, and to this day tends to keep “Draconian” and “mean-spirited” out of even the most left-wing headlines. The Medicare colossus, soon to be added to Webster's as a tertiary definition of "boondoggle," is smart short-term politics. That’s where a small fraction of myself disagrees with the above analysis: We’re talking about Arnold, for goodness’ sake. A political ice cream sundae, cherry on top. Whichever flavor you like – really, that’s the point. If he can find his way in now and keeps the state from burning to the ground, he could kick up his feet and govern California for the rest of his life. They’d throw out executive term limits just for him.
Lileks is dead-on today, severing any and all comparisons between Schwarzenegger and Ventura beyond the fact that they’re unlikely politicians who made their names as musclebound, monosyllabic entertainers. Ventura was and still is a tough guy and picked the wrong battles, as Lileks put it; Arnold’s a nice guy on and off the screen. Any doubts about that were smashed by Arnold’s high-profile lobby last year for Proposition 49, an after-school program for kids that was about as controversial to Californians as puppies, sunshine and giving flowers to grandmothers. (Was it a dry run for governor? That’s what a reporter asked. “Dis iz a run foh de chilltren,” answered Arnold. Beat that.) OX was hard-pressed to think of any lingering scandal beyond tabloid ground clutter. Schwarzenegger’s father, reportedly, was a Nazi – but unless Arnold has a dry-cleaned jungvolk uniform carefully preserved in the back of his closet, what in the world does the rumor have to do with him? Think practical: What enemies has he made over the years? Sarah Connor? - he straightened that out. Arnold has managed to establish himself as an inviolable Hollywood figure, an impossible fratricide for any rivals in the Republican Party and a favorite of the Bush family. The man is a walking sound bite factory: his lingual fame is literally built upon terse, memorable phrases, just like the kind that win certain elections. And not many politicians can claim as their own over a dozen theme songs, slogans and visual identifications that have been successfully market-tested for over two decades - and still fit like a glove.
Can he win? Can he govern? Reagan drew those questions; now it's Arnold. Grab your popcorn. This one's for real.
