So there I was, flipping through a few channels last evening while I continued to unpack in the new apartment.

Pokémon was on. I watched. About three minutes later, an epiphany:

The Democratic Party: Team Rocket of American Politics.

UPDATE: It occurred to me that once the animé door is opened, I'm essentially required to continue matching political figures to Japanese cartoon characters. Whether this is simply a logical completion of the exercise or a psychological need not unlike the inexplicable appeal of animé, even to non-enthusiasts like myself, I am uncertain. In any case, Donald Rumsfeld as Pikachu, bristling with a crackling, pastel blue as he fields petulant questions from reporters:

Q: Mr. Secretary, please go back to Afghanistan for a minute. General Myers said that there were 20 people that attacked that American patrol. Does that number surprise you? Does it concern you? Is that suggestive of the security situation in that region?

RUMSFELD: (beat) Pika pika?

I consider myself lucky seeing as how Rumsfeld knows neither who I am nor where I live. If I were tough-as-nails, spending my retirement years mobilizing, deploying and streamlining the military in a time of war - and somebody turned me into a lovable, electrically charged, live, stuffed animal - I'd break his jaw.