Don't even get me started on "Sweetest Day."

But apparently Dave Frum is in even-handed skepticism with this syrupy half-holiday. And he doesn't need to emulate rogue pirates to deliver a message, instead generating a bit of wise eloquence:

I’ve never liked the Valentine’s Day holiday. Our culture celebrates romantic love morning, noon, and night 364 days a year – and then sets aside one special day every February to really rub the lovelesses’ noses in it. Not so nice. So: if you are lucky enough to have a sweetheart, of course you must kiss her (or him) today. But if you want to do a good deed, give a thought to the many lonely people around you: the divorced, the widowed, the unlucky – and maybe, if you have a spare dollar or two, you might want to send a small anonymous bouquet to one of them. Oh – and send it to the office, where everybody can see.

364 - thank goodness we're not on a leap year. I consider myself lucky enough to be around people largely of my parents' generation, who have conclusively outgrown showy public affection. If you want my idea of romance, "all I need is for you to be in the same room" ought to explicate pretty well. Cheers!